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A first in my marriage

Posted on October 28, 2008 9:16 am by TheAngelForever

I have been married for seven years and four months now. In that span the only nights I have been away from my husband are when our boys were born. Of course during those instances JL was hardly gone for long and I had so many other things on my mind.

Fast forward to tomorrow morning when he leaves for a wedding of a friend. The boys and I will be without Daddy for the first time. I have put on a brave face up to this point to try to make it seem like a fun things for the boys. Special time with Mommy, Nana and Papa, but the truth is I am sitting here crying over it.

I know that is silly, but it is the truth. What is worse is I am still angry over this entire wedding fiasco. My emotions keep flip-flopping between sad and angry. Not exactly a great combination, especially to hide from your five year old and 17 month old.

A little history about the wedding. At the end of last December, all four of us were invited to week long wedding destination wedding, all expenses paid. Our family and friends immediately thought it was a wonderful idea for us to take JL’s friend up on this opportunity and make it into a vacation. Before long things went down hill. When the flights were booked for us by the bride I lost it. They were horrid times for traveling with children. In addition to that, more of the week activities were announced and they were far from child friendly. Thankfully we were able to back out of taking the boys and little or no money was lost by JL’s friends.

My anger stems from my husband simply deciding he would go to the wedding alone. Why? Do not get me wrong I know that JL’s friendship means a lot to him. However, I also know the handful of times that he has seen his friend since we have been married. I also know that when I even suggested taking myself and the little guy to my cousin M’s wedding in the spring it was shot down, no questions asked. I know I should move on, but it still bothers me that I was not at M’s wedding and she is a very special part of my life, and family no less.

Ok, vent over. . . . see much better than therapy!

I can get past this, but my real fear is the boys. They are so attached to their Daddy. I worry that NHL will have behavior issues at school the rest of the week and that JSL will not sleep at night. Of course the boys could completely surprise me and be perfectly fine, that would not upset me at all.

JL please know that the boys and I love you so very much and will miss you lots.

Categories:
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Tiny toe troubles

Posted on October 23, 2008 8:28 am by TheAngelForever

As previously mentioned, the cold weather is definitely here. I know how to bundle the boys up to head outside to stay warm. The trouble I am having is keeping some of the items on JSL once we are out and about. I will not even imagine the fun we will have with hats this year. Of course with the limited mobility from a winter coat that may not be a huge issue.

Right now my problem is best illustrated with the following photo from yesterday:

Do you notice the twinkle in his eyes, and the smirk on his face? Yes, even at 17 months old he knows to do this! Typically he yanks off his shoes and socks upon getting into the car. If I can stop him for a few minutes with a Wiggles song on it may take 3-5 additional minutes. Then I hear him fidgeting around in his seat. This is followed by a giggle and sweet little voice pronouncing "sock" and "shoe" as they come flying around the car with a big THUD!

He is beyond stubborn and determined. No matter how I try to stop him his mission is always accomplished. I try not to make a huge deal out of it because that only encourages the situation. Still I am getting quite sick of being greeted with tiny little toes when I get JSL out of the car. Trying to find two socks and shoes launched in a van is tricky at best.

I worry about his feet getting so very cold this time of year. My hope is that once we switch to boots he may have a little more of a challenge getting them off. I am sure he will be able to toss those (at my head probably), but I will worry about that later.

So do you have any tricks that may help us out? If you do I would greatly appreciate any suggestions.

Categories:
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Teething monster strikes again

Posted on October 7, 2008 8:07 am by TheAngelForever

Let me go on the record and say that the canine teeth are evil little boogers when they decide to come in. I vaguely recall these teeth being the worst when NHL was little, but my memory was quickly restored thanks to JSL. The little guy has been an absolute mess the last week or so. He does not want to eat, prefers nursing (YES he is still nursing) more often, will not settle at night to sleep, and is up many times during the night.

Last night was particularly bad. He did not settle until we pulled out the Motrin and gave it to him. Of course it helped him to get to sleep initially, but did not last. JSL was up at least 3-4 times during the night. After the second time he was up howling, he ended up in our bed where we all seem to be able to sleep some.

Prior to these evil little teeth pushing their way into JSL’s mouth, getting him to sleep at night was fairly easy. He loved to snuggle up with his new silky blanket and a pillow. Thanks to a great giveaway on An Island Life we were introduced to Kennedy Grace Boutique on Etsy. Cathi’s baby blankets are absolutely amazing. JSL quickly declared the beautiful silky soft new blanket his. We had Cathi make it with our last name so either of the boys could use it. NHL gladly allowed JSL to have it since he is quite attached to his "squeaky" blanket buddies.

Thanks again to Kailani and Cathi for helping to make our non-teething night time routines so wonderful. I can not wait until these pesky teeth are in and JSL can go back to simply curling up with his silky blanket to have sweet dreams.

Categories:
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Singular Detox

Posted on October 6, 2008 9:02 am by TheAngelForever

Nobody ever tells you that taking a child off of an allergy medicine could be hazardous to your own health. Seriously, taking NHL off of Singular, thanks to it poisoning his body, has been hellish for all involved. His mood, behavior, tantrums, and impulsivity have been better overall, but every so often the horrid Singular shows its ugly face.

Last Monday NHL had a fabulous day at school. Tuesday and Wednesday he was home for Rosh Hashana. Tuesday was not too bad. He was pretty good at services, but Wednesday was a different story. I took NHL to the services for kids in kindergarten to second grade. What I witnessed was pretty much what NHL’s teachers had been describing. He was unable to sit still, he was nervous acting, he acted on pure impulses and had no control of what he was saying/doing. It was horrible. Of course I understood that my child had no idea of what he was doing, but the other people there did not. Our of sheer horror of looks and stares I finally was able to get NHL to leave with me. Of course he came with me making a major scene. I was mortified!

Thursday NHL had another rough day in kindergarten. His teacher greeted me with the news that he had received five checks/warnings. In addition to this, she mentioned that he had actually hit another child. The consequence of this was to sit and write a letter to the other child and no recess (probably the worst thing for him). Thankfully NHL’s teacher is very understanding and knows that we have only been off the Singular for about a week and it will take 2-4 depending on who you talk to.

*sigh*

Friday was a fabulous day. I was nervous picking NHL up from school since I never know the report I am going to get. Both of his teachers were at the door and put up a "0" – telling me that he had NO warnings all day! One of the teachers actually came out to make sure that NHL told me about all of the wonderful things he had done. She also showed me his notebook with a sticker in it! The kindergarten kid was so happy. He immediately wanted to call JL to tell him about the day. We did that, stopped by Papa at work and then went home. As a treat NHL had a special Friday night with Nana. She said he was like himself again. Calm, talking, and focused. . . things that had been missing for months.

As we start a new week I am hoping for the best, but know it may still take more time. Patience for items like this have never been my thing. Hopefully Super NHL can show everyone that he can beat that horrible Singular out of his system!

Categories:
allergies health awareness nhl photos vent

Needles or not?

Posted on August 28, 2008 9:02 am by TheAngelForever

Immunizations are a pretty hot topic these days. Whether you are a parent, in the medical profession, or watching the news lately you are likely aware of all of the controversy surrounding vaccines. Are there too many? Do they have a link to the increasing autism rate? Should they be spaced out more? Does the government have the right to mandate them for children? All of these questions and more are out there.

So as a parent what are we to do?

I am a firm believer in vaccinating children. In my mind the risk of diseases are far worse than the typical reactions to the immunizations. That being said my stance on a few things have changed. With my oldest son, NHL, I did the unreal vaccine schedule according to the CDC. Sure I questioned so many at once when he was itty bitty, but out of pure laziness I did not want to go back for a second trip at a later date to space them out. Since NHL was a baby in 2003-2004 a lot has changed. More and more people are suggesting to space out vaccines on newborns so as not to bombard their developing immune systems.

JSL is now 15 months old. Up to his 6 month vaccines we went mostly by the books. Then our world changed in February when he got sick, had a febrile seizure and stopped breathing. The last reading of his temperature before he seized was 102, quite low for a seizure. The little guy has a lower than usual body temperature, so 102 was very high for him. At that moment my thoughts changed. I remembered how NHL and most other children react to immunizations. Temperatures from 100-102 are common for a lot of children for a day or two after being immunized. NHL always had a fever after big shots and that worried me for his little brother.

At our 10 month visit we had a chat with our doctor. She agreed with me that we would be quite cautious about what we would give JSL in the future and split them up and drag them out. The doctor was on maternity leave when we went in for JSL’s 12 month well baby visit. The PA that was on for her did not see eye to eye with me. He pressured me into two vaccines that day and told me that by 15 months JSL had to be caught up. I was beyond ticked off. Why? His only rationale for telling me this was that I was not following the CDC vaccine schedule.

Excuse me? You have to be kidding me right?

No, he was quite serious and we left pretty annoyed at one another. In the end I went against my initial choice and allowed JSL to receive two vaccines. That was a BIG mistake. JSL had a horrible reaction not only on his leg, but had a fever to boot. Anything over 99 is a concern with JSL and we have to medicate. His temperature was around 101 and the number of horror in my mind is 102. Way too close for my comfort. I called and noted this on his file.

Yesterday we had JSL’s 15 month visit and NHL’s 5 year one at the same time. Our doctor was back from maternity leave so it was time to talk to her about my feelings on the MMR in particular. I believe that it is a very important vaccine, but I also know the extremely high rate of children that develop fevers over 101. This scares the heck out of me and I do not want to go into that territory at this point. Each month that goes by without another febrile seizure means we are less likely to have another, but we are far from out of the woods yet.

Much to my surprise the doctor is pushing the issue for doing the MMR and Varicella together within the next month. The only reason she would not do it yesterday is because JSL has a cold. I calmly explained that I had a bad reaction to the MMR when I was a child. It is a live virus and often results in pretty high fevers. That happened to me and I ended up with the measles. Her view is to medicate him before the shot and for 2-4 days after to keep the fever away. Not a complete solution in my mind.

To say that I am torn and confused would be an understatement. The memories of February are too fresh in my mind. No, that was not related to an immunization, but was caused by a fever. The MMR and Varicella are known to cause spikes in temperature, especially the MMR. I plan on giving him the MMR, but just am not sure if I want to do it within the next month. I know the risks of waiting, but I also know the danger of going ahead. I hate being put into this position and I resent it.

So why the rush on the doctor’s side? I asked her this. She said that he needs additional vaccines when he is 18 months and if the others are not done he will be behind. I understand that, but respectfully say – SO WHAT? There are people that will not vaccinate their children before their second birthday. I am not simply talking about the MMR, I mean any and all of them. They start to administer them at about that time. It has always been my plan to do the MMR between 18-24 months, but to see how the little guy is doing before making the determination. I thought this was acceptable with our doctor, but I guess not.

*sigh* I just do not want my baby in the hospital again like he was before.

That was the exciting part of what happened yesterday at the appointment, unless you count hog tying NHL for his two shots. I will update on the boys later on. Must go wipe a little nose again.