Category Archives family

Listen to Your Heart

Sometimes you blink and life simply runs away from you. That seems to be how I feel since turning 40. When I think there may be time to settle and focus, something else happens. Influenza hit our house several weeks ago. My poor teen was so very sick. He shared with me and I figured it out while I was at the cardiologist with my mother. That was the day that so much changed and at warp speed.

Heart Health for Women

Just after TechyDad and I were married, my mother got really sick. All we know is that she had a virus. After not getting better for a long time, her friend was able to convince her to go to the doctor. Mom was admitted to the hospital soon after and told that she had heart failure. What she thought was asthma was not. To make a long story short, the virus she had attacked her heart. There was damage and she had to start seeing a cardiologist to assess it. Over time, the doctor was able to see some of her heart get better, but her aortic valve never did completely recover. For all of these years, we knew that that valve would eventually have to be replaced.

During this time, my mother has never been the same. Things got even more serious almost two years ago when she had a heart attack at a restaurant while celebrating her birthday and retirement. Several days later, they went in to find the cause, fixed it, and we were told that she probably would need that valve replaced in the next two years.

At mom’s appointment three weeks ago, she finally told her doctor she had enough. Exhaustion and trouble breathing had her scared of another heart attack. The doctor listened and told her she needed an updated cardiac catheterization. This procedure was done several days later. The news was not good. Mom’s valve was much worse than the echocardiograms had shown less than six months before. While they said she could go home, surgery would be needed shortly. They did something to help open the valve up to make breathing easier until surgery could be done.

Mom is having open heart surgery on Thursday.

Wrapping my brain around this is hard. While we knew this day would come for over 15 years, so much has happened in such a short amount of time. Thank goodness she listened to her body because it has to be done along with a triple bypass.

Please take a moment and know the signs of cardiac distress, especially in women. Do NOT assume things are asthma if they don’t get better with medication. Breathlessness is a sign of heart problems. Also get your blood pressure checked and know what your cholesterol levels and blood sugar are. High blood pressure and diabetes are not a friend to your blood vessels.

The next few weeks and months are going to be a challenge for my mother. However, we all know that seeing mom with energy and able to breathe will be worth it. My eye on the prize will be having Nana sit next to me at moving up day at the middle school in June. We will celebrate another birthday with her and then get ready for her oldest grandson to head to high school.

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Distance

Distance, that’s what separates many families from one another. Family is Forever

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is nothing new to me, but right now it seems very different. For my entire life, part of my extended family has lived in California while we are here in New York. Over the years, we have missed many things being across the United States from my aunt, uncle, and cousins. We would see each other most summers when they would come and visit my Nana and Papa. I also recall our trek to California for Cousin M’s Bat Mitzvah.

As we got older, got married, and started our own families, we have connected more online than in person. I have missed several weddings and births because of distance. We have not met my cousin’s children yet, but the boys know who they are. We all gather around the computer to see photos of J, I, E, and A as they grow up. It’s bitter sweet watching everyone grow up from a distance.

Distance also gets in the way during times when you want to be there to hug, support, and help family in a time when they need it. That time is happening right now and it sucks. There are no words. I simply wish I was with my family in California because I feel helpless sitting here in New York.

Since I am unable to be there, I am trying to recall memories from over the years. Moments captured in my head and in photos. Times where we celebrated, laughed, and enjoyed our time together. My hope is that these things helping me now will help my California family in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.

I will simply say that cancer sucks and so does distance.

It's Me

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Ticktock the Bar Mitzvah Clock

Thirteen years ago, I was planning for the birth of my first baby. Now, as my son is about to officially become a teen, TechyDad and I are planning something very different. In about five months, we will have NHL’s Bar Mitzvah. Apparently, I should not only be counting down the days, but I need to make lists, get concrete plans, and lots more before the special day. Oy to the vey!

 Ticktock the Bar Mitzvah Clock

While I am a Type A personality that loves to plan and make lists, I just can  not focus on this. For some reason, living in the moment and keeping up with every day life is enough right now.

Bar Mitzvah List

NHL started his official Bar Mitzvah lessons with our cantor months ago. Almost every day, we hear him reciting different parts of the Shabbat service. Thanks to technology, we have digital copies of prayers/portions for him to practice while at home and on the go.

As we get closer and closer, everyone asks me for details about our plans. The honest truth is that we are still not entirely sure about a lot. We need to chat with NHL about what he wants. As an almost teen, he does get to have some say.

I have met with members of our synagogue to talk about some options that are available. As NHL and TechyDad frequent Shabbat services, they seem to have a few more preferences on things.

There are a lot of questions on my mind and I know we will figure them out. Some include:

  • When do we need to order invitations for family and friends?  Related to this – Where should we order invitations from?
  • Does NHL still prefer a low key extended Kiddush luncheon?
  • Where does NHL want to celebrate instead of having a party? For quite a while now, NHL has said that he wants to go away and only cerebrate a little with friends the weekend of his Bar Mitzvah.
  • What do we do beyond the actual Bar Mitzvah to celebrate with out of town family and friends?
  • Where do we order kippahs from and how many should we get?

We now have a meeting to sit down with our rabbi to chat again. There really is a lot to do, yet there really isn’t. While I could/should be stressed about everything, reality still has not hit about how close NHL is to becoming a Bar Mitzvah. Perhaps as we talk to family about honors during the Shabbat service things will become a bit more real.

If you have planned a Bar Mitzvah, what else should be on my list? Any pointers would be greatly appreciated.

It's Me

Hard to believe that the last time I wrote about this process was in December 2014 when we were asked to pick a date – Planning a Bar Mitzvah

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Hello From Our Cruise

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It’s hard to believe that our time on board the Norwegian Gem is almost over. There is so much to write about. For now, I will share some photos from our family travel.

The first day we spent time looking around the beautiful Gem.image

Thanks to Splash Academy, the kids liked to play and TechyDad and I had time to explore and relax alone.

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Our only excursion was to Kennedy Space Center. So amazing to see the history behind NASA.

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A day of sun, fun, and sand thanks to the private Bahamas island. The Great Stirrup Cay was gorgeous. I wanted to take home my own palm tree.imageimageimageimage

The next day we explored Nassau, Bahamas on our own.

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So much more to share, but first I must enjoy the rest of the cruise with my family.

It's Me

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Smartphone Use in a Medical Emergency

#VZWBuzz Disclosure

Two weeks ago was a really big day in our family. It was my mother’s birthday and she was also set to retire. Prior to the special day, we planned to go out to dinner to celebrate together and then head back to Nana and Papa’s house for cake. I went out and bought the cake that morning. Photos to make sure it was the right kind were sent back and forth to my father. In the afternoon, my middle school kiddo and I went to buy something special just for Nana.

NHL and I went to see Nana after her last day of work. We decided to go with my parents to the restaurant. TechyDad would meet us there after he picked JSL up from an after school program. When we got to the restaurant, we ordered our meals and drinks. Just before our dinner arrived, I noticed my mother fishing around in her purse for something. She mentioned she had heartburn. This is something she had been bothered by a bit more recently.

Smartphone use in a medical emergency

I was sitting next to my mother and could tell she was getting no relief. In fact, it was pretty clear that things were intensifying. I watched to see where Mom was grabbing on her body. She was rubbing by her sternum and over to her left clavicle.

Alarm bells started to go off and I pulled out my smartphone. I did a quick search that I wish I never had to do. My search was symptoms of a heart attack in women.

You see, my mother has a heart condition that started years ago when a virus attacked her heart. Something bothered me with what I was seeing.

As I searched things changed again.

Mom started to sweat like I have NEVER seen before. She could barely keep her eyes open and looked like all of the color had drained from her face.

That was it. I mouthed to my father that I was calling 911. My mother, putting her grandkids ahead of herself, told us no. While it seemed like an eternity, Dad got Mom to head to the car. She wanted to go home, but Dad said he knew there was no way. Yes, we should have called emergency personnel – but in the heat of the moment it was more important to get her to the emergency room STAT.

I was numb and sat with the boys who had no clue what was going on. I asked to have everything packed up. I left text messages for my brother to let him know to call me immediately. Then I sent a text to my aunt to see if she was still in town. She replied back to me just as we got to the car. TechyDad got the kids into the car and I stayed outside to chat with her because I did not want to scare the boys. At this point, they really had no idea what was going on.

My father messaged me shortly after this to tell me he had made it to the ER and Mom had her EKG and it was fine. I was able to breathe a little as we made our way to the hospital.

Much of the events in the ER are a blur. Mom’s pain continued, but they did not think that she had a heart attack. They believed that it was an esophageal spasm and gave her things to help that.

NO change and the pain intensified again. I told the nurse and thank goodness she listened. We got mom baby aspirin and she gave her nitroglycerin to see if it would relive the pain.

During this time, my brother and sister-in-law had called me. I was able to talk to them and later on text things that I didn’t want to necessarily say and alarm my parents until we knew more.

Within seconds, there was a difference. My own heart sank. That’s about the time some blood test results came back. The cardiac enzyme result was negative. Based on this they felt it was not a cardiac event, but because the nitroglycerin helped some they were admitting her over night for observation and to do two more cardiac enzyme checks.

At almost 11, we moved up to the Cardiac area of the hospital. While settling Mom into her room, the second cardiac enzyme came back. This time it had gone up. The nurse told us and immediately went off to contact her cardiology group.

This is exactly why they do multiple enzyme tests because they can change within 6-9 hours (thank you again smartphone search). Dad and I left for the night knowing that they would check things once more and would wait to hear from the doctors in the morning.

Birthday Retirement and Heart Attack

Saturday morning, I was up early and heard the words that brought tears to my eyes.

My mother had definitely had a heart attack on her birthday and the same day she retired.

I was numb.

By this point, we knew that her levels were decreasing. The cardiology group had decided to keep her for observations while giving her IV blood thinners. The plan was to add her to the schedule for an angiogram on Monday where we would hopefully find out the cause of the heart attack.

While I don’t encourage using Dr. Google for medical advice, I do encourage you to use your smartphone as a resource. When out and about, you have nothing else quickly check things. Use your phone to dial 911 and never second guess this. Keep an extra charger with you because when in the ER and hospital for hours you will want to be able to check in with family, friends, and others. 

Quick update: My mother is doing very well. During the angiogram, they put a stent into an artery that caused the heart attack and likely her recent heartburn symptoms. More to come about some additional items I learned during the last two weeks coming soon. For now, please hug those that you love a bit tighter.

It's Me

Disclosure: As a member of the Verizon Lifestyle Bloggers, I receive devices like the Samsung Galaxy S5 and Droid Turbo to test out and share ways that I use it in my life. I am a long time Verizon customer, and all opinions are my own.

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