Category Archives decisions

Let Me Tell You About My Breast Friends

Hi, I’m Irene.  I’m 32 and I’m planning on having a Bi-Lateral Mastectomy.  No, I don’t have Cancer at least not yet. I’m what you call a “Previvor”.  I have the BRCA 2 mutation that leaves me with an 84% chance of having Breast Cancer by the time I’m 70. Both my mother and her birth mother had Breast Cancer. Sadly her birth mother died at 36 after losing her fight.  I don’t plan on succumbing to the same fate.

TheCraftingHobbit

Why would anyone want to cut off their breasts if they don’t have to?

First off, I don’t want to do it.  I do however feel that I need to do it. I know it seems extreme to many people but when I look at my percentage I can’t ignore it.  Think of it this way: if you were told that when you went outside today you had an 84% chance of being hit by a bus would you want to go outside? Probably not.

I look at my son and I know I want to be there to watch him grow up.  I don’t want take a chance with my life.

Aren’t you scared?

Yes, I’m pooping my pants about it.  I was supposed to be having my surgery this fall but my husband was laid off and our current state insurance won’t cover it.  Now I have to wait even longer to get it done.  It’s bad enough having to go to the plastic surgeon with pictures of boobs (yes, I did go with pictures of what I want my new boobs to look like) and get measured and look at pictures of what I’ll look like post surgery.  I wanted the main surgery to be over with and I am a little scared that it is not put off until my husband finds a new job.

I worry about how I’m going to look. Am I going to hate them? Is my husband going to hate them? Are people going to look at me and point at my fake boobs? How will my son react to them?

I’m high risk but I don’t want to have the surgery…

It isn’t for everyone. It’s a hard decision to come to and not one that I came to lightly. I’m lucky to have the support of my husband and family. I also have a great breast specialist who even before my genetic testing had me go for annual mammograms. If you know you’re at risk take action, that doesn’t always mean surgery. Go for regular exams and make sure to do self exams.

Thinking I was alone was the hardest part for me but I found out I’m not alone. There are so many people who have the same condition and have documented their choice.  I remember it being so rough when my brother told me I was being a drama queen, and then he did a search and found women 10 years younger than me choosing the same surgery.

I’m not alone and the support I’ve found from both doctors and other “Previvors” has been amazing. I’ve chosen to be proactive and not let the disease defeat me.

For more information on the BRCA 1 and 2 mutations check out:

Bright Pink

Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered (FORCE)

Update January 5, 2013 from TheAngelForever:

Since Irene wrote this post, a lot has changed. She moved with her family, became the coordinator for the Memphis FORCE group, and scheduled her surgery. The date is this week when she will have a bilateral mastectomy and start reconstruction. She will have expanders that will be filled each week until she reaches the desired size to have implants. On her personal blog, Irene has written about coming to terms with her femininity before her surgery date. Once Irene is feeling better I will update again. Wishing her the best of luck as she moves forward with being a Previvor.

___________________________________________________________

The Crafting Hobbit is a mommy  to an amazing little guy and wife to a loving (although sometimes frustrating) husband. Both of which have Asperger’s. She became an Earth friendly, crunchy, granola mommy and loves her   return to the simpler things in life.

She knits, sews and dabbles in other crafts and love creating things.  She tested positive for the BRCA 2 mutation and  will be undergoing a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy.

The Crafting Hobbit

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The Trip That Never Was Thanks to Hurricane Irene

For weeks, I have been writing up posts to schedule. At one point I had two weeks set and would not need anything until after Labor Day. Two guest posts are set for this week alone. I was on a roll, things were flying onto my computer from my fingertips. Then things changed. Our world became obsessed with watching the news, checking on weather reports, and debating what to do.

Gutters be clean

I should be on the road to Long Island, NY right now (writing this Sunday afternoon). Instead, I am home watching record amounts of water fall outside my home. I am numb. Worry for family, friends, and our own home is not letting all of the reality set in. All I can do is sit here and wait on my bed with power (for now), but no internet or cable

You see, Tuesday morning I should be getting on an airplane. TechyDad and I decided in late July that we were going to just do something crazy. We were going to figure out a way to do a 10th Anniversary trip. We looked at several different options. In the end, we wanted something magical, something that would remind us of our honeymoon. Of course, that was a trip to Walt Disney World.

My in-laws agreed to watch the boys for the first time ever. I was nervous about a quick trip (we booked in the end of July) and leaving the kids to only get back home the day before school started, but they would be fine and we needed this.

Pre-Irene Scene

Then something happened. Hurricane Irene decided to slam everyone up and down the east coast. My in-laws asked us to try to go on Saturday. I could not do it. The storm appeared like it was going to be so much more in the NYC/Long Island area that I wanted to be at home to keep an eye on things here. Friday night, I was so restless. I tossed and turned. The what if aspect of everything was killing me. Sure, perhaps we would have a flight, but could we guarantee being able to travel from here to there? Right now, TechyDad’s parents have no power. There was no way I could leave two young kids with them for five nights without power. That was not fair.

So, just before noon on Saturday, I made a tough call. It was time to call our airlines and travel agent to cancel our trip. We needed to focus on getting ready for the storm and not worry about how/if/when we could get to our flight. Our airline was fantastic. We are not reimbursed, but have credit that must be used with us back home by a certain date. We can handle that.

Preparations

When I tried to call Disney to cancel on my own, the woman asked how she could help make my day magical. With tears in my eyes and obvious sadness, I told her she could make Hurricane Irene go away. She immediately got serious and said she was so sorry. In the end, our agent called and we were reimbursed for the package we purchased.

Now, as the storm is likely at the worst. How will this week be? I know I should be thrilled that my family and friends are safe. I am, do not get me wrong. Still, with each passing day from Tuesday to Sunday it will sting. I will think about the meal we are missing. I will morn the special trip that should have been. I will be ok, but it hurts. I shouldn’t complain since the last six weeks of dreaming of the trip helped make the summer bearable. The weeks went by as we planned to meet friends, eat special meals, and more. This last week of summer vacation for the boys is going to be hard. We will be picking up the pieces from the storm, assessing damage in our basement, and wondering how and when we can reschedule the trip that we needed. Yes, I really am ready for 2011 to be over since she has been so very evil in too many ways.

It's Me

Update from Monday morning: Sunday was a long day here. The rain intense and the wind got worse into the dark evening. We were SO lucky here. Some issues in our basement that we now have to look into, but no major damage. Unfortunately, others within our area were not so lucky. Irene may have only been a tropical storm when she came into our area, but she packed one hell of a punch. Mud slides, dams bursting, lakes in front of houses at the base of mountains – a massive mess. We never lost our power here, but across the street they have none right now. Sheer exhaustion from no sleep for days caught up. I went to a room where I could not hear the howling wind and fell asleep on TechyDad’s chest. Today, he managed to get to work after closed roads leading to Vermont were just reopened. Now to see what we can do around the area to keep our minds busy.

One other thing, I really wish people would stop talking about the over-hyped nature of this storm. Should more people have died? Perhaps they have not seen some of the damage and more that is coming NOW thanks to all of the flooding that is still not at the worst level.  I think a lot of people living inland and in parts of South Carolina and Virginia would beg to differ. No, NYC was not destroyed, but lives were forever changed up and down the east coast. The fact that people were safe is not a fail, but something we should celebrate after the mistakes from Hurricane Katrina. We need to remember that less is more in the case of a hurricane – especially when it is not as much damage in some very populated areas. To those with damage and picking up the pieces – my heart goes out to you.

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Taking Your Toddler to an Amusement Park

Growing up, my family went to amusement parks a lot. We traveled to Disney World, Sesame Place,  Hershey Park, Six Flags, Busch Gardens, and countless other locations up and down the east coast. I have heard stories and seen countless photos of myself with Mickey Mouse as a toddler and even younger. Most of my personal memories of trips are from the time I was in kindergarten and beyond.

Making magical memoriesWith the summer winding down and families planning trips for next year, many parents find themselves wondering if their child is too young to go to an amusement park. The answer in my mind is not to wait. You will make memories for your child to look back at in scrap books, and more important ones that you will hold close to your heart

When my husband and I were married, we said that one day we wanted to take our children to Disney World in Orlando. Our oldest son was born in 2003, so we said we would wait until he was ready to appreciate the experience. In December 2008, we made a decision to go on our first big family vacation to Walt Disney World the following spring. We knew that five year old NHL would adore it, but what about JSL who would turn two while there?

Stroller RentalI spent countless hours researching restaurants, stroller rentals, diaper changing areas and other toddler must haves in an amusement park. I made a list of rides that would be suitable for my toddler, others that my older son could go on and we learned all that we could about child swap option (many other parks have similar policies). The child swap allowed us to get a pass for the other parent to ride on without a long wait while we swapped out staying with our little guy. This was fantastic and helped to cut down on more wait time with a toddler. Finding resources online from other parents, reading books and knowing my child were the most helpful items.

The truth is, toddlers will have fun in any location that you take them. If they see you laughing and smiling, chances are they will too. My son adored his time at Disney World. Will he remember that trip years from now? We may never know, but my husband and I will. We often look back at the trip photos with our now three year old and he points to the objects and cheers. If the opportunity to go comes along, take it and enjoy the special time with your family

Toddler JSL at Disney's Animal Kingdom

Have you ever brought your toddler or younger child to an amusement park? Let me know how it went and please leave tips for others in the comments below.

If you plan on going to Walt Disney World, let me know. I have a slew of resources that are amazing in addition to my posts here on The Angel Forever.

It's Me

Disclosure: This post was previously published on a project I  worked on. The text is the same, but I placed additional photos and the question at the end for my blog.

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Birthday at Buca di Beppo

Dear NHL,

Your birthday was a few weeks ago. One of our traditions for birthday celebrations is to head out to dinner where you like on your special day. Daddy and I were pretty sure we knew where you would pick, but you do have a few places that you really seem to like. Sure enough when it came time to go, you wanted dinner at Buca di Beppo.

When we arrived Buca’s you immediately announced to the people that it was your birthday. Then without skipping a beat, you asked if we could sit in the kitchen for our meal. That is when I recalled that I had not called the restaurant to reserve the special table. I told them not to worry because I had messed up. The man and woman told us to wait a minute. They looked and there were no reservations, so the table was ours!

The Birthday Boy at Buca di Beppo

Although we have eaten at Buca di Beppo many times, we had never eaten in the kitchen before. You were SO excited to see the chefs and other members of the Buca staff making the meals before your eyes. It is a really big and busy kitchen.

Buca di Beppo Kitchen

While you looked at everything around you, JSL colored/played with Wikki Stix, and of course Daddy sent out a picture to Twitter and his blog.

JSL and TechyDad

There were a lot of cool items to look at on the walls around us. Daddy thought it was funny to see Gene Simmons, Sylvester Stalone, Carrot Top, Danny DeVito, and Charlie Sheen eating together with other celebrities.

Celebrity Wall

When our food arrived it was fantastic as usual. JSL had Macaroni and Cheese, you had Linguini Alfredo, and Daddy and I shared Eggplant Parm.NHL's Buca di Beppo Dinner

Our server asked if we would be having a dessert to celebrate. We told him that we were heading to Nana and Papa’s to see them and have the cheesecake that you had requested. Even without the dessert a bunch of the staff came to sing to you and there was a fun surprise with candles too!

Make a wish

It was a fun meal out with good food and a new experience sitting in the kitchen. I hope you have many memories of this day for years to come.

Love,

Mommy

    _______________________________________

    If you want to participate in Dear Kid Saturday, head on over to Cutest Kid Ever by clicking on the button below.

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    Saturday

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Tuesday Tales – Finding Time to Read

Tuesday Tales

When I was teaching, I was always reading books. Time was spent keeping up on school related items, reading trade books that my students were interested in, and of course reading books for lesson planning. During that period of my life, I rarely had time to read books for pleasure. Yes, I enjoyed the books I was reading – but let’s be honest it was not my first choice.

 Some of my books

From the moment my kids were born, books were a huge part of their lives. We have a rather large collection of books. There are books in the book case upstairs, books overflowing in the small book case in the boys room, books all over the living room, and a pile of books next to my bed. Yes, there is rarely a place you go in our house without seeing reading material of some kind.

NHL is now able to read books on his own. This summer was huge for him since he has learned to like tackling chapter books with independent reading. Of course, I can not read all of the books that he is, but try to catch up on some of them to be able to chat with him and ask questions. My dream is to begin a family read aloud of the Harry Potter series since NHL is getting into them. Although NHL loves to read, time becomes an issue. As school begins, time will be crunched even more. I believe once homework is accomplished, reading will be needed to earn time for gaming. I think I will be working on a chart to keep track of this since it will make more sense to him.

JSL adores sitting and “reading” books on his own. He loves to pull out a pile of picture books from our library and sit on the couch to have someone read to him. NHL, TechyDad, and I all read to him and he adores this special time with each of us. At 4, he really wants to learn to read and we are going to work on pre-reading skills at home in the weeks and months ahead.

Read to Me Big Brother

Thanks to reading with the kids so much, I still am balancing the art of reading books for me. During the day, it is hard with work that has to get done. At night, I find that if I settle into bed to read – sleep seems to catch me.

So fess up, how do you find time to read things that you enjoy?

Of course, since this is Tuesday Tales, I must ask the usual question. What have you read recently? Please be sure to link up to your Book Posts, and/or leave a comment below. Include something you read on your own, with a child or someone else. Tuesday Tales are all about spreading the love for books.

It's Me

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