What else can I say? Right now I am sitting here with tears running down my face. I feel like a failure to my 4 year old. Where did we go wrong? Is it simply what they always say that teachers have kids that challenge their colleagues? All I know if my head was pounding before and now it’s worse.
You know it isn’t a good sign when the teacher pulls you over at dismissal to tell you that she needs to talk to you later. I asked if I could wait to talk to her after school since it may be easier than with everyone at school this evening.
I walked in and NHL’s OT was there. We chatted and I get the vague hint of her saying "I told you so" about sending him to this school. All I wanted was to help NHL and get him out of where he was. He needs structure and to be challenged. He needs people not to take his BS excuses. He is very capable to do things, but says he can’t.
Drop off this morning was beyond a nightmare for JL. NHL was pulling every trick in the book once he left the house. He went without an issue and then the HELL began. He put his foot in the door demanding a toy before they left. JL got him the toy. When they got to school NHL would not go in the building. JL had to drag him out of the car and into the school where he grew roots. His teacher finally gave JL the nod to go.
His teacher said it did not stop once dad left. She looked so frazzled this afternoon it wasn’t funny. She looked the way I felt. Then at nap time they got him to settle on the floor. He was so out of it he had an accident. When they tried to get him to change at the nurse he flipped out and raised his voice to the teacher. *sigh*
I just want to curl up and cry, but I have tons of laundry to do, a baby who is miserable thanks to 4 shots and NHL who is beyond tired thanks to crying all day.
I seriously do not know what to do. I think this is the right school for him, I just think we need a LOT of tough love and rules for him to follow. Hopefully that will work and he will adapt to this major change in his life. Tomorrow I will take him to school to see if we can get him over this hump.
C’est Moi
I am obviously no expert, but chances are that he will realize things are not going to always go exactly the way he wants them to and he will settle into the routine. He is testing everyone. I think maybe explain to him every night – this is what will happen tomorrow morning- and give him a step by step. Do not bulk from it even slightly. If he is allowed to pick one toy then he needs to pick it and know if he misbehaves (hate that word because there is clearly more to it here) it will be taken away. Set up the consequence on his actions and follow thru. (not saying that you dont but just reminding) Once he sees you, JL, and teacher are all on the same page then he will know he doesnt have much of a choice. I would also discuss the day with him every evening while giving him some one on one time. So many changes have happened for the little man since May- he is just having some adjustment issues. Be tough- but do it thru love. You are a great momma and this is just another hurdle to conquer. I am sure in the next couple weeks you will be able to report what awesome days he is having at school! Hang in there! Let me know if I should get you some book names to help with things like this- I am in the business you know LOL. OR if I should just send some vodka via express mail. Love ya!
Breathe in and out. Breathe in and out.
I’m with Sandy here- He’s testing the limits and the stress of change isn’t helping any. You have not failed him. Not in the slightest. You have made the choices that any parent in your shoes would have made. DO NOT let the OT even give you teh “I told you so.” This is only really not even full week 1. He needs to realize that things aren’t always going to be his way, and he’ll get over it. Like Sandy said…his life has been one constant change since May! He needs some serious stability, and the new teacher will provide that. Ok. I’m going to end this novel here…and give you a buzz…
Sandra: I too believe he will learn – it just may take NHL a little more time than some of the other kids (change is very hard for him). I was just VERY frustrated with his OT and how frazzled the teacher was. I won’t even add in the principal’s comment tonight.
We have always done consequences with NHL. His teacher was very happy when I told her to use tough love of sorts. He needs to know that she means business and I think she’s the type that will do that.
Hopefully he will adjust to this change. He did very well with the addition of JSL into the family. Hmmm. . . if you come up here maybe I’ll take yu up on the drink ;)
C’est Moi
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Laura: I am breathing. . . I think I was just hyperventilating there for a little while. I think he’s testing his limits to a degree. I believe he’s trying to see what he can get away with, but other things are not testing. I can’t figure out the lunch thing, the lining up in the morning thing, or the crying for daddy/mommy/JSL. These items floor me, but again it all goes back to he doesn’t handle change well and we know that. Hopefully once we get into a routine and we get him on track things will be good. I just don’t like the prospect of people saying “I told you so” that may happen.
Talk to you once the boys are in bed.
C’est Moi