Ugh, being an adult is tough. There are just too many decisions to make. Right now JL and I are trying to figure one of them out that involves staying home come September. It just may not make sense to go back given the unreal cost of daycare for JSL and after school care for NHL. We are still figuring things out. I need to make a decision ASAP to give them the most time to find a replacement.

Last night I was in tears about this entire thing. I’m so torn about everything. I love what I do, but I know it was tough last year without an infant. My family is most important and it’s time for me to put it there unlike what I have done the last 2-3 years. It just stinks that I feel so guilty either way I go with this.

*sigh* And to make matters worse some members of my family just don’t understand and question why I don’t look for another job in my profession. HA! A lot easier said than done. There is absolutely NOTHING out there. It’s sick how saturated this area and makes me wonder if I should think of something else to do.

As much as I think my stomach being in knots and being sick today was something I ate, I have a feeling it isn’t. I’m sure it’s the stress of this really BIG decision. Add to this the fact that I’m bleeding AGAIN! I’m so sick of thinking that things are better only to have it come back again.

C’est Moi