Numbness is a feeling that seems a little too close to home and has nothing to do with the bone chilling temperatures outside. I rarely, if ever, vent on my blog. This hardly means that life is perfect. No, it means that I am focusing on the good things and trying to keep on swimming. Today, something has to give and I need to get at least a little of this off my mind.
Numbness is feeling like no matter what you do, your every action is judged and considered wrong.
Numbness is trying to be part of a team to work together to help a cause, only to find out that your assistance is considered stepping on toes.
Numbness is the feeling you get when something isn’t what is was scheduled to be and you did not see it coming at you like a freight train.
Numbness is having something that was out of your control tossed into your face.
Numbness is trying to plan for the future, but being told it’s only going to get worse.
Numbness is trying to keep a smile on your face and not scare others, but inside you are crushed.
Numbness is not being able to figure out the hoops of a secretly political system that is constantly changing the protocol.
Numbness is being told to do one thing by some sources, but knowing the fallout from doing the right thing will be far worse than just sitting back.
Numbness is not being able to scream when you are frustrated because nobody can truly understand.
Numbness is feeling oh so alone on a journey with no map, rules, or proper checks and balances.
Numbness is NOT a good feeling and makes you see things very differently.
…but feeling returns and you will be able to use your limbs and your senses to get going in the right direction *for you*. Some things you can’t control; some things you can. Work on what you can first and then what you can’t wait and see if there isn’t some other force that can move it and then work on THAT.
Hope it all works out.
Ella´s last blog post ..Good Enough Mother Weight Control: 5 Ways To Push Through Plateaus
Sounds like you are going through a hard time. Sending hugs and good vibes.
kim/the maker mom´s last blog post ..Parents of Gifted Kids Need This Information from Dr. Linda Silverman
I’m sorry to hear that things are not going as you would like. Hope everything improves soon!