Ever have one of those moments where you feel like the worst parent in the world? Today JL and I had that. NHL needed to have blood drawn to check for lead exposure. We have an older house that may be an issue, no less the toy scares of late.

So we decided to head to LabCorp at 11:00 this morning to get it over with. We figure this would give us time for results before his physical in a few weeks. We arrived and the waiting room was filled, but seemed to be moving. After about 15 minutes they called NHL’s name. I went up and they took the papers and things. She then came and called us back. JL was feeding JSL and asked if he should come. At the same time the THING (as I will now call her) rudely said “Only one person back with the patient!” So, I followed the bitch  THING back to the torture chamber  room. 

This is where I should have packed up my child and left.  Mentally slapping myself for being so DUMB!

We went into the room and NHL was clearly scared about this. He’s only had blood drawn two other times that I can recall and none recently. Anyway, NHL starts to fidget, cry and yell as she comes near him. I am trying to hold him on my lap and well it wasn’t working. So THING starts to yell at my 4 year old son. Yes, you read that correctly. THING who was clearly over 30 yelled at a scared little 4 year old child. I saw that I was not able to hold him and told her I was switching with my husband. I stomped out with NHL.

I took JSL from JL and told him to beware  THING was yelling at him (mind you I used other choice words in front of the entire waiting room). They clearly had heard the screams from my child and they should know why. So he went in. I sat there listening to my poor baby scream bloody murder. Several of us were talking about how rude and unprofessional the people were on the weekend there. They were complaining about working. One person went as far as to make a suggestion of another place to take NHL next time. So I saw the Patient Survey sitting on the counter. I went and grabbed one – still hearing the mortifying screams from NHL. I nicely asked the man sitting inside for the name of THING who was with my screaming child. He claimed not to know and another man came, so I asked him. I wanted to know so I could tell them. I finally got THING’s name. 

At that point I had screw it and went back to my husband and screaming child. Let them kick me out. At this point he has blood all over a gauze pad and is hyperventilating. I assume they were done.

WRONG!!!!

She messed up and didn’t get his vein. No, I am not kidding. So she’s setting up for take two. JSL seemed to make her get a little more pleasant. Anyway, I was now holding his arm, JL his body/head/feet, and she was going for the vein. THING misses the vein again. So she’s fishing around his arm with the needle (a butterfly one) to try to get it. I am mortified. NHL is screaming in agony. By this point he’s been in the room at least 20 minutes. Another phlebotomist came in and could see she was butchering my child. 

JL and I discussed what to do in front of everyone. We could jet, but how are we going to get him back into another place to get the blood we need for this very important test? Or we let another person try one last time. 

We opted for the second choice. 

So now JL is holding NHL’s body/legs/head, I have his arm that is being attacked and THING is pretending to assist. This new person got it on the first stab. . . no lame fishing needed. 

By this point NHL is drenched. His head is soaked in sweat from screaming and crying for 30+ minutes. JL and I have nerves that are shot. We immediately leave and take NHL to get the Cold Stone ice cream for his Birthday that he had a certificate for. 

So tonight I sat down and filled out the patient survey. I was honest and explained exactly what happened. I think they need to know. I would have preferred if THING had just said she didn’t do kids and would have waited for the other woman to do it. What a mess and now we wait for the nightmares tonight. I will also be calling Monday to lodge a complaint locally. GRRRRRR!

C’est Moi